The Emotionally Polarized Couple: Understanding Her Feelings and His Detachment

life_advice_polo_0117-2Like many couples, Megan and Chris love each other, but they each admit to having communication problems. They recently had a second child and although they are overjoyed with their growing family, they are both handling the stress that accompanies it very differently.

Megan describes feeling overwhelmed by taking care of two small children and all of the household responsibilities. She finds that she is increasingly irritable, she cries more easily than before, and often feels like she is failing to meet the growing demands of her family. Megan is hurt and angry that Chris is more distant than he used to be, but every time she asks him what’s wrong, he insists that everything is fine.

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Healing and the Inner Child

Healing and the Inner Child

Inner child work is something that is typically explored in therapy, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be. Some of the most powerful “soul work” comes from looking at our inner child, or ourselves at various stages in childhood. It is particularly profound when we explore ourselves at a time when we may have experienced trauma of some kind. Trauma evokes such a strong, visceral and emotional reaction within, that it often stays with us for years afterwards and perhaps for an entire lifetime. Trauma doesn’t necessarily have to be a specific event. In fact, a chronic low-grade trauma in childhood such as a neglectful, dismissive or critical parent can yield a similar stress response.

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Thoughts, Feelings and Relationships

“So, how does that make you feel?” This simple question routinely asked by most therapists makes the majority of people cringe. This is because most of us are conditioned to override our feelings and go straight to our thoughts. It’s uncomfortable to talk about feelings because it means being vulnerable, which most of us tend to avoid. This is especially true if we have grown up in families where feelings were not discussed. However, thoughts and feelings are two very different things and it is important to understand the distinction between the two.

What is the difference between a thought and a feeling? A thought is an opinion or idea that is produced by thinking. As I type the words on this page, I am thinking about how I want to construct these sentences. A feeling is an emotion, a reaction or our emotional state. As I type the words on this page, I am feeling productive.

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