Self-love is often marketed as bubble baths and affirmations—but when you’re on a healing journey after abuse, especially from a narcissist, it looks much different. It’s gritty. It’s emotional. And most days, it’s deeply uncomfortable.
What Real Self-Love Feels Like During Narc Recovery
- Saying “no” even when you’re afraid.
- Not responding to a narcissist’s message.
- Choosing to eat, shower, and care for your body when you feel unworthy.
These acts aren’t glamorous—but they’re revolutionary. After enduring emotional neglect or manipulation, reclaiming your voice and choosing yourself can feel foreign. That’s okay. That’s part of recovery.
Why Self-Love is a Form of Rehabilitation
Self-love is a kind of spiritual healing. It’s what mends the identity that was broken down by abuse. It restores your trust in your own intuition. It’s not about becoming someone new—it’s about returning to who you were before the trauma began.
How to Practice Self-Love in Small, Daily Ways
- Write down one thing you did right each day.
- Reparent your inner child by offering comfort instead of criticism.
- Let go of perfection and embrace the messy middle of your healing.
You’re worthy of love—even from yourself. Especially from yourself.
Avery Neal, PhD, LPC is a practicing psychotherapist, international author and speaker. In 2012 she opened Women’s Therapy Clinic, which offers psychiatric and counseling support to women. She specializes in depression and anxiety at all stages in a woman’s life. She has worked extensively with women suffering from prenatal anxiety and postpartum depression in addition to helping women recovering from divorce and healing from psychological abuse. She is passionate about empowering women discover their own inner strength, leading to higher self-esteem, confidence and overall life satisfaction.
Dr. Avery Neal is the author of, If He’s So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad?: Recognizing and Overcoming Subtle Abuse, which has been translated and published in twelve languages. Her articles and interviews have been published by Oprah.com, American Counseling Association, Counseling Today, BookTrib, Best Self Magazine, Hitched Magazine, Bustle, POPSUGAR and PKWY Magazine, and her courses have been taken by over 20,000 people worldwide. Dr. Avery Neal has spoken at numerous global conferences, alongside some of the top leading experts in psychology. The International Association of HealthCare Professionals nominated her as one of the top psychologists in Houston.
